I’m INfected

Published on 23 January 2021 at 10:47

I have it...


I have seen symptoms of 2 large ones this week. I sat back, and I actually watched them blow up... It started out as nothing, but before I could blink it blew up in my face! Before I knew it I was faced not with fighting it off , but getting what I needed in me so that I could process it and push it through.


I have....


Sin IS sin(1 John 5:17) This means, in Gods eyes, sin has no rank or scale,


That is except for lying...(Proverbs 6:16-19)


And the very “wages of sin is death (Romans 6:23) but the GIFT of GOD IS ETERNAL LIFE THROUGH JESUS CHRIST.


When the enemy approaches, that is what I’m going to remind him of!



You see I asked for this...


I asked God to show me things in me that are sinful. Like the rich young ruler I had dealt with what I knew.


You know, surface sins... those sins that are acceptable ‘PC’ speech amongst friends...


But I want more...

So if I want to know the deep things of God, I must go deeper INto HIM.

And that starts when I dive deeper into me.


I need to be very careful here...


Because as human beings, we have a tendency to turn INward.

When we realize that we have an issue, instead of turning UPward

and asking for help, we turn INward. We search our inner man for answers to our problems instead of asking GOD.


Insecurity is anger turned inward...

We get upset. I was angry because yes, GOD I asked and I WANT to know the answer so that I can change...


Side note:

I want change, but do I really want to take the necessary steps for the process of change to begin in our lives..


This action, this inward anger causes us to bow over and I believe that this is the reason that we constantly find ourselves sinking...


“Looking unto JESUS, who is the author and finisher of our faith...”(Hebrews 12:2)


This is a tough exercise....


But I continue to remind myself that insecurity IS anger turned INward.


It is useless for me to get angry at myself for what’s going on INside of me. It IS in me. And there is nothing that I can do about it.

But CHRIST died because HE wants to have everything to with it.


HE wants to take EVERY burden... all of the guilt and the shame...



And life more abundantly! (John 10:9,10)


So why are we still living in this mess?


“I see my sin LORD. And I am ready for change..”


We wrestle with God when we ask questions like this. And as I wrestled HE has shown me clips and pieces of myself.


IN the Wrestle...


I studied the wrestle that Jacob had with the “Man” (capital M) and I noticed a few things...


The Bible said Jacob wrestled (Gen 32:24-32) with the angel all night and he prevailed.

  1. Wrestling is a contact sport. When you wrestle, you win or you prevail, by the worlds definition, remaining close to your opponents body, and using the muscles in your body to pin them for “the count”

         (But Jacob never pinned Him)

So I asked, ok LORD, what does the term ‘prevail’ really mean here...


The LORD, “He lasted...he endured.”


  1. The Angel of the LORD, “let Me go, for the day breaketh.” Really God? The angel is ASKING Jacob to let Him go? And the Man stepped in last night and said nothing but started to wrestle...


Thank you JESUS! Because this brings to light a lot of things! First, the WORD says that ‘the Man’ came in... but by the end of the night, Jacob had stepped out of insecurity and made declarations with his mouth stating “I HAVE SEEN GOD AND MY LIFE IS PRESERVED!” He renamed that place too! (Peniel)

How did he know it was GOD?


The Man didn’t say a word!


Right now it seems like the devil is on the attack. He seems to come out of nowhere, without warning, and he strikes!


But know that GOD SEES!


Did you ever stop to think that maybe it isn’t the enemy? Just maybe GOD is launching an assault on your ‘INNERme?’


Side note:

(GOD never attacks you, but sometimes HE uses a catalyst to get you to move with HIM...I.e. Jonahs whale, Joseph’s pit & prison, Jacobs ‘Leah’, David’s ‘Absalom’, Samson’s ‘Delilah’ & Paul’s many ‘shipwrecks’ etc)


You are not the only one...


  1. Remember what happened here. The Man came in and began to wrestle Jacob without a word. Watch for the silent assault. The stealth one. The one that looks like you were not warned. The WORD tells us that HE will not let anything take us unawares...  your warning is always found in HIS word!(Luke 21:32-34)



This battle CANT ‘take you’ because you are reading HIS word and weren’t warned...


Remember, GOD has let us know that Jacob got the blessing. He got it because he prevailed, he endured.



To NOT let go of ‘the Man.’

Jacob didn’t let go of ‘the Man.’ The Angel said “let Me go, for the day breaketh”

What was Jacobs response? “I will NOT ‘let YOU go’ until YOU bless me!”

Who is that Man? The scripture says that Jacob declared HE wrestled with GOD.


So, Hold on and please don’t “let go” of the Man?


  1. Pay close attention to time.


God deals in order. HE does not deal in chaos and confusion (1 Corinthians 14:33) I say this because I like spice. I love to play with colors in my paint and images in my photography. But in my study, I buckle down and I meet him at 6:30 am for study time. I try to be consistent, not legalistic, but respectful. I honor this time because this is the time we agreed upon.




Now please go down the rabbit hole with me.


If GOD truly is the same yesterday, today, and forever (Hebrews 13:8) then, the WORD stays the same. It is only the method by which we eat the WORD, we eat ‘the bread,’ that changes.




If you examine this scripture closely, you will notice that the Man, JESUS may come in at anyTIME. But, you only ‘prevail’ if you make it through the ‘in between.’

You MUST make it through “the transition..”


The transition in your story always takes place at your point of change. In our story the issue or action occurs at the beginning of Jacobs ‘wrestle.’ But the change or transition comes at daybreak.


Some other biblical transitions...

Paul and Silas prison break (Acts 16:25)

Transition: midnight

Paul on the road to Damascus (Acts 22:6)

Transition: Noon

(This is a long one)

Jesus walks on the sea and rescues the 12 struggling disciples in the boat (Mark 6:47-50)

Transition: 3rd-4th watch (approximately evening-midnight)


So if you feel like you are in a pit, pray. Pit dwellers are the ones GOD rescues first!

This only means that you are next in line for a MIRACLE!

Stay the course! Because your MIRACLE will take place if you make it past the point of ‘YOUR transition.’


Pray with me, because we are all in this together. And pits come in many sizes and shapes.


Lord, we are calling on YOU right now. Please come and rescue us. We are in a deep pit Lord. It is dirty and it stinks. But, we look to you FATHER! You ARE the WORD! The Bread of LIFE when we are hungry and LIVING WATER! You refresh and replenish our souls. Make us over dear JESUS! We look to YOU for help in all things and we lay us down, to pick YOU up IN US! We want to reflect YOU!



Now May the GRACE of GOD and the sweet communion of HIS SPIRIT rest, rule and abide with you now and forever more.





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